Situations......(Janaki Shantharam)

Situations

What do you mean by situation?  Who can handle the situation best?  Is there any SME in handling situation?  Is there a consultancy to handle situation?  Is situation restricted to age? Location? Caste? Education? Company? Etc.

I travel by bus to office.  I am really blessed to have this mode of transportation (“At times ;-)”).  This is where my mind travels J.  Either I will be blessed with a  good sleep or a good day-dream. 

There are many things to appreciate, to be happy to.  So to start with my first trial on writing a blog (though my intention is to write a book and that too a book which will in the first release only win a booker prize;-) – uff too much janaki – but nothing wrong in thinking or dreaming big – isn’t it???

Situation varies from time to time, from age to age, etc.  If…………………………(conclusion to this sentence is at the end)

Situation 1:

Today we had a situation at office.  One of my colleague / peer and my manager discussing or arguing (whatever you want to call it as) on a process issue in the morning.  I reached office, was about to go for a good coffee break but I am called in.  My situation handling skill (sorry if I use such words called skill or attitude – habit of using this language for 10+ years by being in recruitment) was put under test. 

My colleague is asking me if he is correct in what he/she has done.  Other side of the table my manager is asking if he (manager) is correct.  What to do?  How to handle?  If you support one person, other will get offended and vice-versa.  Also I had just 5 minutes to answer to them.  What will I do?  I have to answer in such a way that the process followed by my colleague is correct but doing it by not informing my manager was wrong.  I have to be extremely diplomatic here.  I cannot let go my colleague or take risk of going against manager.  Living and appraisal issue J.  At the same time, I have to be correct in what I say.  Uff, that 5 minutes took my breadth away.  However I came out clean.

Situation2:

If this is my situation of breadth taking, then what do you say for poor husbands who has to manage colleague and manager or manager and colleague at home.  Fortunately or unfortunately both are strong and always this employee – husband is always week in being diplomat.  Ofcourse exceptional employees are also there.  As you know the bell curve in the appraisal – will always have 30% below performance level, 50% Met Expectation level & only 20% beyond expectation or out standing level.  So my reference of husbands here is only for the 80% population than the lucky wives of 20% J.

Once I and my husband in the initial days of marriage; went out.  So I was tempted to eat out, so forced him to accompany me.  We both had and came home around 9pm.  In my house we usually have dinner by 8pm or 8.30pm.  When we reached home after crossing thru this roller-coaster traffic, it was already 9pm.  So my in-laws were done having their dinner.  But still there were lot of Pongal left in the kitchen kept in hot box.  So I asked my MIL(Mother-in-law) if she has prepared extra.  She immediately said it is for us i.e. me and my husband’s share.  Uff that is when we realized that we did not inform at home that we will not have dinner at home.  OMG(not akshay kumar but real god I am referring here), what to do.  I easily escaped saying, I am not feeling hungry(isn’t it a familiar dialogue by most of the wives).  I  don’t want to eat dinner.  But my husband cannot think so fast, his RAM (random access memory) works little slow or doesn’t work as fast as mine.  So ended up eating the pongal also for his mom’s sake.  Poor think, I only felt like vomiting looking at it.  Imagine after having a heavy dinner outside, how can you accommodate additional pongal at home.  Isnt this a situation in life.  How best we could have handled it.  Simple call to home saying we want to have dinner outside would have saved the whole situation or truth, upfront tell MIL that you had outside but will surely eat the same tomorrow(if you can) or say extremely sorry and throw the food.  I think this is the situation which only situation can handle it better isn’t it?

Situation 3:

It is my humble request to all my friends to spend 1 or 2 hours with kids.  Wonderful stress buster.  Don’t get panicky or stressed by running around them.  Just enjoy every moment, see what they do, see how they do, cherish the way they do.  I don’t know about others but I do enjoy and enjoy a lot. 

Yesterday I stayed at my sister’s place.  So I was all dressed to take my niece(1.3 year old) out to park for her to play.  Poor thing was bored staying at home all day.  So she was all excited to come out with me to the play area.  When I opened the door having her in my hand is when my sister i.e. her mother came back home from office.  She is now in a situation whether to be with her mother(whom she missed the whole day) or come out with me to the park.  She has to choose one and the best for her at that time.  She looked at her and looked at me for close to 2 minutes continuously.  Then decided to come out with me to the park only because my sister went inside, changed her dress to show her that she is not going out but staying at home.  So she was sure that her mother is at home, she can go out and come back to spend time with her later.  She prioritized what is needed at this time.  Even the small mind thinks a lot in handling a situation.

Situation 4:

When I went to my sister’s apartment, I spent valuable 2 hours by talking to few kids in the age group of 2 to 6 years.  Totally amazed by their English language, amazed by their knowledge, amazed by their confidence.  Remembered when my mother used to say something, I was underplaying her.  But 2 years down the line if I don’t pick up on my communication, these kids will underplay me for sure.

One 1^st standard kid(6 years old) asked my nephew of 5 year old as how many teeth his sister is having.  He said “she has 2 teeths”.  Immediately 6 year old says “Its not teeths, its teeth”.  I asked her what is wrong in it (teeths) – just wanted to test(situation I am handling here;-)).  She said “tooth is singular, teeth is plural” that too very confidently.  My immediate reaction to safe guard my image infront of her is that – “very good, I appreciate your knowledge, keep it up”.  This is just one situation, but as I told you earlier that 2 hours are one of the best hours in my fun time.

At the same time, all kids were telling what their father is and what their mother is.  One kid aged 2.5 years didn’t know what to tell for her mother so she said “my mother is nothing” (by the way nothing here means “Housewife”).  Handle the situation by saying “nothing” for something – isn’t it a funny thing…..(just rhyming mood)

Situation 5:

I wanted to go to my mother’s house.  Now I am married for 7 years.  Situation is totally different.  I can now tell my mother-in-law directly that I am going to my mother’s house.  She also understands and is used to such requests by daughter-in-laws.  She is also trained over years of such situations.  So am I.  So situation is different J.

Situation 6:

I was busy with some work at office and work at home as well.  That is when one vendor (recruitment consultant) was chasing me for feedback on some profiles whose requirement was going slow.  I cannot say reject neither select as I myself don’t know what to is the feedback.  But this vendor was behind my life to get the feedback (I understand their situation as they are also under pressure from their manager to close the transactions).  I was cutting the calls, I was not responding on mails, I was not picking the calls coming on landline(by the way – my manager, you please don’t read this;-)).  To avoid such rigorous follow up from this vendor, I typed a message saying I am out of town and will respond after coming back to office.  End of this message I myself typed saying “Sent from black……ry” and sent the mail.  Till date my husband bought a blackberry and is using it but never is able to have this message – “sent from blackberry” for his mails ;-)….

Situation 7:

While giving this interview for the XLRI course, I was asked a question – “who is the author of Seven Habits of Highly Effective People?”.  I could not think of his name at that moment, I had to answer.  So I told it is “Mr.Covey”.  Promise you that for the whole of my life I will not forget Mr.Steven Covey J

So situation is situation across age, group, location, etc.  Situation handling improves with age.  Even while interviewing situation handling questions varies with experience.  If you are interviewing a fresher, situations given to handle are different than when you are interviewing a manager.  The difficulty in question increases with experience.  Rather increases with experience ;-)

Situations are many to explain but just to refresh haven’t you faced with any of these situations in your life once………

1. Where you want to make some contributions for your presence sake in a hot discussions in the office

2. You are introduced to a new manager or super manager(can be head of some function) as how to impress first time.

3. You joined a company first time in your life and gone for natures call and see that your super boss is also there in the rest room.  You are ashamed to go for rest room infront of her / him (as though they don’t go).  You still go and just flush and come out without finishing your actual purpose.  Is it?

4. You tend to lie though your intention is not lie – like you go out with your husband or boyfriend or girlfriend for a movie.  But cant tell that at home for some or other reason, so you say that you had gone out on some work.  Also there was no network so your mobile was also not reachable ;-)

5. Married woman specially, want to go to mothers house (this strong feeling of going to parents house is there in the 1^st year, later it will come down slowly).  So don’t know what to tell.  First time you can be frank or 2^nd time you can be frank or 3^rd time.  But 4^th time for sure, you cannot be straight; you have to think of some reason why you want to go to mothers house.  Is it?  This searching for reasons is not just to tell your in-laws but at times your husband also…..

6. You have lot of change in your purse but don’t want to spend, you say no change upfront to auto guy or bus conductor.  When he also shows no change, you will end up paying from your changes though you would have said no change upfront in the beginning………………

7. Many situations you have to handle if you are a manager and leading a team.  Like you have some emergency at home and have to take leave.  But you would have not approved all the leave for your team mate the previous day.  Reason for leave can be same from the team mate.  How to handle?  How to handle this where you should not have the guilty feeling?  Sometimes this guilty feeling will become too expressive that it shows on your face too? Isnt it?

8. List goes on and on and on……………..(you can add yours)

Situation varies from time to time, from age to age, etc.  If handled well then best situation handled in life, else the worst (choice is yours)

Yours Truly
Janaki Shantharam